I’m Still Here

I know, I know, it’s been a while again.

But I’ve just been living the boring cancer life.

I did have some scans – a CT scan and a bone scan – because of increased pain.  The scans came back with good news – there’s even less cancer than there was in the scan from February of 2016!

That didn’t explain the increased pain.

But amazingly, the pain decreased again.

The bone scan did show that there’s more arthritis in my knees though…explains a lot!

I’ve been working with the dietician through the oncology program.  With what little I eat, I should weigh about a hundred pounds, yet here I am at 290. (Yes, I’m not afraid to say how much I weigh!)

The steroids didn’t help the weight at all, but I’ve been off of them for fifteen months now.

I hate to exercise.  There, I said it.  But I am meeting with the physical therapist to help with stretching that may help with the pain of walking and getting up from a sitting position.

What I do eat is good food though.  Once in a while there is a brownie or a cookie, but the biggest downfall? Krazy Cow ice cream….!!

The hubs and I both grew up with parents who had a bowl of ice cream before bed each night.  For a while when we first lived together, we did the same thing.  I haven’t bought ice cream in about two years now, though.  Even Baby Girl doesn’t like having ice cream in the house.

I learned…

I go to my primary care physician on a yearly basis.  She is just a general family practice physician assistant.  She’s nice enough, but she certainly doesn’t know everything.

The dietician’s words resonated with me: “Cancer screws up your glucose.  You can be a person who has no problems in the past with sugars and glucose, or diabetes, and we will screw it up.”

It was amazing to hear that, and talk with someone who understands.

The primary care physician that I see totally freaks out when my glucose result is higher than it should be.  She had an A1C test done, and OMG I’m pre-diabetic.

Commence freak out by primary care physician.  “You have to eat better.” “You need to lose weight.”

B*#ch, it’s the cancer!

Frustrated

I get so frustrated with myself sometimes.

My brain.  It wants to do so much more than my body can do.  With holy bones that are painful, and medications that cause great fatigue, my body is no match for my brain anymore.

I can vacuum the first floor of the house, and then be down for the next day.  So frustrating.  I want to do more.

Wedding Planning

The wedding planning for Little One’s wedding the end of September is coming along!

Last weekend, Little One and I sat down at the table up north, and worked through a seating chart.

How do you not take ‘no’ RSVP’s personally?!

The hubs and I thought that the wedding would be a good opportunity to get a family picture of all eight of our ‘kids’.  That isn’t going to work out, with two of the ‘kids’ not attending.  I see Photoshop in our future…..maybe.

This afternoon, Baby Girl and I are heading out for our dress fittings.  Just a few alterations were needed, mostly length.  Then we’re going to practice with getting Little One dressed in her wedding gown.  Beautiful, and one of a kind.

I can’t wait for the wedding!  I think it’s going to be a fun day for everyone!

Up North

We’ve made our trips for weekends up north throughout the summer.  Never seems to be enough times we can get up there for the peace and quiet.

We spent the Fourth of July week up north, and the hubs worked on our newest project, a closet for a washer and dryer.

I found a great deal on a Maytag washer and dryer set for $100.  I just see a use for them, get up on Sunday morning, throw the sheets and towels in, wash and dry, fold, put them back, instead of traveling them home and back.

When deer hunting rolls around then, wet and sweaty hunting clothes can be thrown into the dryer with scent-free dryer sheets, ready for the next day of hunting.

Loving the Hubs

A friend of ours told us last night that another friend told him that the hubs and I act like we are in high school and in love.

I love our relationship.  I fall in love over and over and over again with the hubs.

We aren’t the same people as when we got married five years ago, and in five years we won’t be the same as we are today.  Changes happen, good and bad, but I choose to love him every day.

I know, without a doubt, that I am the luckiest woman on earth to have this man as my husband.

Back to School

Baby Girl is headed back to school, this year at UW-Green Bay.  Last year was spent at UW-LaCrosse, four hours away.  It was a good school for her to start at, being a smaller school.  But she wanted more, a different major direction, and closer to home.

I enjoy having her home between school and work, and taking care of her yet.  You can only have so many intelligent conversations with a dog and three cats.

Praying and Prayer Requests

Sleeping at night is not really something I do.  I wake up often, typically every hour during the night.

The TV is turned off, the lights are out, the hubs is immediately snoring next to me.  I lie there, with my brain actively activating.  So, I pray.

And when I wake up during the night, while I readjust to try and go back to sleep, I pray some more.

Here are some prayer requests ~

  • There is a local woman who I’ve only met once, I believe; I knew her mother and father from long ago doing their legal and income tax work.  She has dealt with cancer for years, it is a very rare cancer, and it has become more progressive and aggressive.  Please pray for Nancy.
  • Though I don’t know this man personally, he is a local known business owner.  The hubs has done electrical work at the business and has met him.  He had a new type of surgery for his cancer, and we found out that he died this morning, leaving behind a wife and four young children.  Please pray for Andy’s family.

If you have a prayer request, please let me know – email me at erika.balza7150@gmail.com or text me at 920-621-7150.  I pray A LOT!

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